All relationships, whether with our friends, family, or peer groups, are built on communication. We all know how important it is, but we still struggle to communicate well. Learning to communicate well can be the key to a better relationship and greater friendships; it can bring us closer together.

Be an Active Listener – One of the keys to effective communication is to listen. We can assume that the subject of communication is all about me, and my continual desire to express myself, but real communication, real connection, is about the other person and giving them our full, non-selective, aware attention. We don’t listen so we can respond, we listen so we can comprehend. Genuine listening is not about giving attention to respond, or be nice: it is being open to the here and now, to the fear and pain, that exists in each of us. In deep listening, we hear not only the words but also the tone and inflection.

Open and Honest Dialogue – While it may feel easier to keep emotions and thoughts to ourselves to avoid conflict, being open and truthful creates an atmosphere of trust. By sharing openly, we provide a forum wherein others can do the same – and this will help create a
friendship that has integrity over time.

Respect Boundaries – We all have limits when it comes to the level of intimacy in a relationship, and respecting those limits is important to maintaining a healthy connection with others. This means, not only being mindful of other people’s limits but also establishing our
boundaries and communicating them in appropriate and acceptable ways. It can be challenging to voice or articulate one’s boundaries, especially to those we consider close to us – and even when we believe that we have done so – but one can never be so assured.

Empathy and Understanding – Empathy is a basic sense-making of how you feel or might be thinking. It happens whenever we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and try to see life from their point of view. When we recognize and reflect on the feelings of others, this strengthens our emotional bonds. Next time someone expresses a problem or emotion, don’t automatically jump into problem-solving and advice. Instead, try something as simple as paraphrasing. A recent study on empathy shows that a simple statement such as, “I can see why you feel [this]…”, although seemingly modest, should help to bolster their emotional well-being.

Non-Verbal Communication – Tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions can convey much more than the words themselves. People often reveal their true feelings nonverbally while their actual words say the exact opposite. By being conscious of these cues to
language, we might allow more `ordinary` forms of talk, and avoid sending mixed messages.

Conflict Resolution – Relationships inevitably involve conflict, but responding well to these conflicts is the key. Instead, bring them up calmly and with respect. Focus on how you feel rather than blame the other person, and work together toward a solution that satisfies everyone. This approach not only resolves the immediate issue but also strengthens the relationship in the long term.

Quality Time – In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in our daily hustle and bustle, rushing from one thing to the next, and occasionally forgetting to make time for others. Spending regular, quality time with our loved ones is essential to the construction of healthy
bonds; I’m talking about repetitive time spent together, be it by enjoying a meal, having a heart-to-heart talk or just spending precious, distraction-free hours in each other’s company. Quality time is indeed all about reconnecting and regrouping, thus deepening the existing bond, as well as building trust.

Vulnerability Builds Trust – There’s an old saying that being vulnerable is weak but it’s one of the most powerful instruments for establishing trust. When we share our fears, insecurities, and challenges, we are inviting others to do the same. Vulnerability is the key to
authenticity and that’s what allows for meaningful connections.

Celebrate Each Other – Lastly, it is important to praise the accomplishments, big or small, of the people we are close to in our lives: praise a friend’s or family member’s ability to succeed at a task, acknowledge a successful job interview or career milestone, or celebrate a good day’s work spending time together. Regardless of the success or failure, taking the time to show support and recognize the positive aspects of each other builds bonds and a healthy relationship dynamic.

By Mumtaza Mohamed